Confessions

It's that time again...
Please, please calm down. Don't embarrass yourself. You're better than that...
I do literally admit to a diaper wipe/dry shampoo event which masqueraded as an actual shower below. If nothing else you can feel better about yourself for actually taking care of personal hygiene:
-Last week my husband said I looked cross-eyed in my new specs. In his defense: he did say I would look cute if they were not in combination with my braces. Wah wah. Who's picturing Debbie Downer right now?
-Try as I might: I do not understand the Harlem Shake. I've googled it. You tubed it. Etc. And i still do not understand. Help me.
-The above officially makes me feel like 30 IS really going to happen in August. Ay Crumba...
-I'm ecstatic beyond words about Justin Timberlake returning to the world as I know it. This señorita has been waiting...
-As mentioned above: I lied to myself and said I "took a shower" when really I wiped down with available diaper wipes and dry shampooed my hair and called it A DAY. I actually attended two public events.
-Ty abhors the dry shampoo. Hates. It.
-Remember when I fixed two cuties (one of whom happens to be my sister) up? I said I'd update: Yeah, that's REALLY working:) I think I may be the new Patty Stanger. Only with less _____ (fill in the blank).
-When I see someone crack open a Diet Coke before 9 AM I kind of throw up in my mouth a bit. Before you say, "wait a hot second...I do that!" I have many a close "can't live with you" friend and family member who also consider a DC in a word: coffee. Uhhh. No judgment, seriously. It's just way more of an immediate and visceral reaction than traditional judgement.
-Tonight Brutus basically assaulted/pillaged my childhood teddy bear. I was going to fight for it, but I can't really look him in the face now. "Jane, you ignorant slut!" Anyone laughing? Just me? Ok.
Until next time (when I promise to take a real shower)!
Xoxo.