Juxtapositions.

I don't know how else to describe it all. My Grandma Ruth who was 93 had been sick for weeks; unresponsive and not eating or taking her medication. In the middle of trips and visits, birthday fun, and back to school prep, my dad called to say it wouldn't be long before she went to be with Jesus. But she held on and so it seemed like celebrating my birthday was appropriate. Then two days before my birthday she passed away. My party was the next day and I decided to compartmentalize my life for a night and deal with the rest as best I could Sunday (my actual birthday) morning. My party was amazing and the next day I woke up, got on a plane, and headed for a piece of what I'd call home: her hometown in Illinois. My parents, brother and sister and I met that eve and started the hard process of saying goodbye. I feel I could write for days and what it's all meant. To turn 30 on the same day you're saying goodbye to a loved one felt surreal. The passage of time totally evident and frankly slapping me directly in the face. This has been a week teeming with life: my birthday, a friend's fresh start, fall coming and school starting and then just like that of saying goodbye. I don't believe in coincidences anymore and so I will find the purpose in it some time soon. I'm not sure I quite have yet, but I have to smallest inkling it has to encompass a mirror. I felt I had one held to me this week and I'm not sure exactly what I saw reflected back this week. I'll continue to process that. Just like I did with Big Red, I tried to stay in the moment, feel the grief and love and let it pass through me without stuffing it away. I can tell you it hurt. But. There were just as many laughs and memories and homemade pies, and pictures that brought back pieces of a legacy I hope to pass down. More than one person told of her famous hospitality serving meals to people on Sundays, every major holiday, at her yearly garage sales. Her hospitality is what sticks out most for me, but also the verse they used in her Eulogy: Philippians 4:4, 5. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 
It was perfect. Because it said everything I thought she was in two sentences. It's inspired me to become more hospitable even if my house and life is a wreck. I'm sure hers was more than once. To let my gentle spirit approach first without diluting it with bravado. And to rejoice in the Lord and then rejoice AGAIN because that's after all is said and done: the point.
Here are some pictures of the hard, the funny, and the good times we shared and remembered...